OINK-A-THON

bizzarre

Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:12:31 GMT

[22:01] im finding that hard to believe but continue please
[22:01] and im actually brown in colour
[22:01] * jollydude ne ne ne, goes back in time
[22:01] look, you brown dipshit, this isn't a joke
[22:02] i am serious
[22:02] ok
[22:02] so where, if i wanted to, would i send this $10?
[22:02] it's NOT what your country can do for you, it's what you can do to get the party started
[22:02] i don't want your money
[22:03] i want Oprah's money
[22:03] cause she's a billionaire
[22:03] knaw mean
[22:03] im down
[22:03] im down, too
[22:03] i guess we're both down
[22:03] so how can i get this party started?
[22:04] You will need to do THREE things !
[22:04] First, do you have $10 ?
[22:04] yes
[22:04] Go down to the beer store and get a six pack ...
[22:04] ok
[22:04] Second, do you have friends ?
[22:05] i guess
[22:05] Ok, among your friends, only bring the girls, preferably black
[22:05] ohhh then get them pregnant?
[22:05] if you want, anyway, and Third ..
[22:05] do you have hands ?
[22:06] yes....
[22:06] punchline is looming....
[22:06] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, AND WAVE EM LIEK YOU JUST DON'T CARE, AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK, LIKE WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK, SCREEEEEAAAAM, OHHHH YEEEEAH
[22:06] OOHHH YEEEAH
[22:06] well done
[22:07] where is my ohhh yeeeah ? :(
[22:07] oh sorry
[22:07] OHHHH YEEEAH
[22:07] hahaha
[22:07] so, what was the use of that entire conversation?
[22:08] ?
[22:08] i mean that was kind of amusing
[22:08] man, to many things in life there is no explanation
[22:08] what ever happend, happend
[22:08] but hardly up to "i put on my robe and wizard hat" standards
[22:09] whatever, dude
[22:09] i thought you weren't racist
[22:09] it saddens me to know that im probably the only person who'll respond to you
[22:09] huh?
[22:10] im just kidding
[22:10] so why are you the rare few who responds to me?
[22:11] i guess when you said "hello" i was expecting you to follow with porn spam
[22:11] then when you didnt it was quite surprising
[22:11] so ummm im going to stop talking to you now
[22:11] i dont do that whole "meeting people on the internet" thing

read it all cuns

Fri, 14 Nov 2003 05:34:46 GMT

The following Richard Dawkins essay appeared in the popular U.K. news website,The Guardian on September 15, 2001, four days after the World Trade Center terrorist attack.

A guided missile corrects its trajectory as it flies, homing in, say, on the heat of a jet plane's exhaust. A great improvement on a simple ballistic shell, it still cannot discriminate particular targets. It could not zero in on a designated New York skyscraper if launched from as far away as Boston.
That is precisely what a modern "smart missile" can do. Computer miniaturisation has advanced to the point where one of today's smart missiles could be programmed with an image of the Manhattan skyline together with instructions to home in on the north tower of the World Trade Centre. Smart missiles of this sophistication are possessed by the United States, as we learned in the Gulf war, but they are economically beyond ordinary terrorists and scientifically beyond theocratic governments. Might there be a cheaper and easier alternative?

In the second world war, before electronics became cheap and miniature, the psychologist BF Skinner did some research on pigeon-guided missiles. The pigeon was to sit in a tiny cockpit, having previously been trained to peck keys in such a way as to keep a designated target in the centre of a screen. In the missile, the target would be for real.

The principle worked, although it was never put into practice by the US authorities. Even factoring in the costs of training them, pigeons are cheaper and lighter than computers of comparable effectiveness. Their feats in Skinner's boxes suggest that a pigeon, after a regimen of training with colour slides, really could guide a missile to a distinctive landmark at the southern end of Manhattan island. The pigeon has no idea that it is guiding a missile. It just keeps on pecking at those two tall rectangles on the screen, from time to time a food reward drops out of the dispenser, and this goes on until... oblivion.

Pigeons may be cheap and disposable as on-board guidance systems, but there's no escaping the cost of the missile itself. And no such missile large enough to do much damage could penetrate US air space without being intercepted. What is needed is a missile that is not recognised for what it is until too late. Something like a large civilian airliner, carrying the innocuous markings of a well-known carrier and a great deal of fuel. That's the easy part. But how do you smuggle on board the necessary guidance system? You can hardly expect the pilots to surrender the left-hand seat to a pigeon or a computer.

How about using humans as on-board guidance systems, instead of pigeons? Humans are at least as numerous as pigeons, their brains are not significantly costlier than pigeon brains, and for many tasks they are actually superior. Humans have a proven track record in taking over planes by the use of threats, which work because the legitimate pilots value their own lives and those of their passengers.

The natural assumption that the hijacker ultimately values his own life too, and will act rationally to preserve it, leads air crews and ground staff to make calculated decisions that would not work with guidance modules lacking a sense of self-preservation. If your plane is being hijacked by an armed man who, though prepared to take risks, presumably wants to go on living, there is room for bargaining. A rational pilot complies with the hijacker's wishes, gets the plane down on the ground, has hot food sent in for the passengers and leaves the negotiations to people trained to negotiate.

The problem with the human guidance system is precisely this. Unlike the pigeon version, it knows that a successful mission culminates in its own destruction. Could we develop a biological guidance system with the compliance and dispensability of a pigeon but with a man's resourcefulness and ability to infiltrate plausibly? What we need, in a nutshell, is a human who doesn't mind being blown up. He'd make the perfect on-board guidance system. But suicide enthusiasts are hard to find. Even terminal cancer patients might lose their nerve when the crash was actually looming.

Could we get some otherwise normal humans and somehow persuade them that they are not going to die as a consequence of flying a plane smack into a skyscraper? If only! Nobody is that stupid, but how about this - it's a long shot, but it just might work. Given that they are certainly going to die, couldn't we sucker them into believing that they are going to come to life again afterwards? Don't be daft! No, listen, it might work. Offer them a fast track to a Great Oasis in the Sky, cooled by everlasting fountains. Harps and wings wouldn't appeal to the sort of young men we need, so tell them there's a special martyr's reward of 72 virgin brides, guaranteed eager and exclusive.

Would they fall for it? Yes, testosterone-sodden young men too unattractive to get a woman in this world might be desperate enough to go for 72 private virgins in the next.

It's a tall story, but worth a try. You'd have to get them young, though. Feed them a complete and self-consistent background mythology to make the big lie sound plausible when it comes. Give them a holy book and make them learn it by heart. Do you know, I really think it might work. As luck would have it, we have just the thing to hand: a ready-made system of mind-control which has been honed over centuries, handed down through generations. Millions of people have been brought up in it. It is called religion and, for reasons which one day we may understand, most people fall for it (nowhere more so than America itself, though the irony passes unnoticed). Now all we need is to round up a few of these faith-heads and give them flying lessons.

Facetious? Trivialising an unspeakable evil? That is the exact opposite of my intention, which is deadly serious and prompted by deep grief and fierce anger. I am trying to call attention to the elephant in the room that everybody is too polite - or too devout - to notice: religion, and specifically the devaluing effect that religion has on human life. I don't mean devaluing the life of others (though it can do that too), but devaluing one's own life. Religion teaches the dangerous nonsense that death is not the end.

If death is final, a rational agent can be expected to value his life highly and be reluctant to risk it. This makes the world a safer place, just as a plane is safer if its hijacker wants to survive. At the other extreme, if a significant number of people convince themselves, or are convinced by their priests, that a martyr's death is equivalent to pressing the hyperspace button and zooming through a wormhole to another universe, it can make the world a very dangerous place. Especially if they also believe that that other universe is a paradisical escape from the tribulations of the real world. Top it off with sincerely believed, if ludicrous and degrading to women, sexual promises, and is it any wonder that naive and frustrated young men are clamouring to be selected for suicide missions?

There is no doubt that the afterlife-obsessed suicidal brain really is a weapon of immense power and danger. It is comparable to a smart missile, and its guidance system is in many respects superior to the most sophisticated electronic brain that money can buy. Yet to a cynical government, organisation, or priesthood, it is very very cheap.

Our leaders have described the recent atrocity with the customary cliche: mindless cowardice. "Mindless" may be a suitable word for the vandalising of a telephone box. It is not helpful for understanding what hit New York on September 11. Those people were not mindless and they were certainly not cowards. On the contrary, they had sufficiently effective minds braced with an insane courage, and it would pay us mightily to understand where that courage came from.

It came from religion. Religion is also, of course, the underlying source of the divisiveness in the Middle East which motivated the use of this deadly weapon in the first place. But that is another story and not my concern here. My concern here is with the weapon itself. To fill a world with religion, or religions of the Abrahamic kind, is like littering the streets with loaded guns. Do not be surprised if they are used.

lets do one of these gay things

Wed, 05 Nov 2003 08:46:04 GMT

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME Fraser Neil "Rathead" Orr

2. DESCRIBE THE CLOTHES YOU ARE WEARING? shirt shorts

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Beatles - Rocky Racoon

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? worst question ever

5.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? a biscuit

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? cloudyish

8. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE 2 ON THE PHONE? stephen

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? personal hygiene

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? i like everyone

11. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? i feel like these questions suck

12. FAVOURITE DRINK? beer

13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? beer

14. FAVOURITE SPORTS? cripple-fighting

15. HAIR COLOUR? dark brown

16. EYE COLOUR? brown

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGE? mitchell, cant remember

19. FAVOURITE MONTH? BORING

20. FAV FOOD? beer

21. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? Audition

22. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? september 11

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? dunno

24. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIES? depends

25. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer

26. HUGS OR KISSES? dunno

27. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? anyone who says relationships is gay

28. VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? vanilla

32. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? in a house

33. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? steven kings - the dead zone, michael moore - dude, wheres my country? and sdd books

34. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? dont have one

35. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? solitaire

36. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? slept

37. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL? what do you think LOLOLLOLOLOOOLL

38. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? what do you think LOLOLLOLOLOOOLL

that sucked

ANOTHER SONG!

Tue, 21 Oct 2003 09:43:23 GMT

to be sung to the tune of "still rock and roll to me"

whats the matter with the cancer she's getting can't you tell that its pretty tame
after listening to all the "delta nearly dies" reports they all start to sound the same
you might not be a good singer, you might be fat and bloated
but get yourself some cancer and you're sure to get promoted
its a big hit, isnt it, even if its a peice of shit
its still delta goodrum to me

(slightly stolen from wierd al's "still billy joel to me")

Here's a song about dong.

Thu, 16 Oct 2003 23:11:52 GMT

To be sung to the tune of "Yellow Submarine"

in the rrhiod, where i was born
lived an anus, who loved the cock
and he told us, during sex
of the life in a magic sock
and this sock, its understood
was made of steel plates, rocks and wood
and he named, this merry scene
his mastubate machine
We all live in a masturbate machine
a masturbate machine
a masturbate machine

thx 2 jre for the inspiration and loving care

balls

Mon, 13 Oct 2003 03:00:35 GMT

woh how about that update didnt expect that one did ya cunt

UP WITH DICK

Mon, 22 Sep 2003 09:43:42 GMT

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0033467/board/nest/289126
ive become completely lost as to whose playing along and whose being serious

I fell in to a burnin ring of fire

Sun, 21 Sep 2003 07:19:54 GMT

http://www.michaelparenti.org
This is one of my favourite people. Try and find some of his speeches on kazaa or wherever.

do this cuns

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 05:01:23 GMT

Crazy inkblot things.
http://www.emode.com/tests/inkblot/

Fraser, your subconscious mind is driven most by Kindness
You have a deep desire to be kind and fair to others. You are preoccupied with finding kindness in the world around you, far more than you may realize on a conscious level. This makes you unusually empathetic and very sensitive to other people's feelings.
Your kind nature makes you an optimist at heart and allows you to see the best in the people around you. Because you're not judgmental, others seek you out when they need a friend.
Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are.

2troo yo

E-THREE THE EXTRA TESTICLE

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 07:56:23 GMT

http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
thats pretty funny

Ring my bell

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 03:29:58 GMT

Leisure Town rulz:
http://www.leisuretown.com/stories/religion/agilike/index.html

HOLY FUCKING SHIT TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY!

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 06:53:52 GMT

Here's everything funny thats ever happened on IRC:

{Sulz-Hyobu-sho} I punch girls whenever they punch me.
{Sulz-Hyobu-sho} They always look at me with the most shocked expression on their face, like "what the fuck did you just do? Did you just punch me? Am I to believe you just pu-" and then I punch them again

{Kurt} GREAT SHOT KID, THAT WAS ONE IN TWO

{Kurt} there should be a tv show "ARABS BLOW UP THE DARNDEST THINGS"

{MrFixIt} Guy: "One time I got my johnson caught in my zipper." Oprah: "I know exactly how you feel."

{Al} I knew a kid who had a party trick which involved his penis, fluorescent poster paints and turning the lights off

{amoeba} CRAWWWLINGG INN THEE AIRRDUCCTSS, THESE GAMESSSS THEY AREE SOO BOOORIINGG

{AnimeFreak} happy, are there any decent neo geo emulators for linux?
{happy} had you bothered to look, you would already have your answer. i can only therefore assume that your asking me is actually a thinly veiled request for anal penetration

{jre} HEE-LA, WHY WON'T YOU STRADDLE MY FACE LIKE OLD TIMES?

{NormanBates} I'd go back in time when I made the time machine and break it, boy would I look suprised!

{Al} "WAAH WAAH WAAH, WHY WON'T ANYBODY EVER HAVE SEX WITH ME? MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M AN IRRITATING, FAT, NERDY RATFUCK WITH A MICROSCOPIC PENIS!"

{tooley} shutup cunt i didnt ask u 2 open your binrat mouth,go back to smoking your fathers 2mm cock

{tooley} wtf are you,doctor fucken hard cunt,i speak english not jew

{tooley} WTF NATIONALITY IS THE NAME KOREAN

{tooley} do you still rape the yellow cunts in chinatown because your droped-pie head and mongolated body cant get any

{K0ffing} Jennifer Lopez = someone kill this fucking whore now
{PigsCantFly} i hear they're remaking casablanca with her and ben affleck
{K0ffing} that's strange because I don't remember Lauren Bacall being an ugly slut or Humphrey Bogart being a no-talent shit

{egg} Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or is your chub a dud?

{Sulzanti} If I was gay, I'd clone myself and then reject myself because I'm too fucking good even for me

{SteamedHams} {Thom_Yorke} DURR HURR I AM FEELING ALIENATED AND HERE ARE LOTS OF COMPUTERS AND STREET LIGHTS I NEED TO RUN AWAY FROM SOMETHING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT OH SHIT I'M IN THE FIRE oh hey i just wrote a song

{SteamedHams} tossing and turning all night, minus the turning

{Al} vasectomy is a foolish barbarism
{Al} it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women
{jre|away} It's not that. The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina
{Vodex} like an extraction fan but in reverse
{Al} damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit

{Al} how do you convert cubic inches to cubic centimetres
{Alien} carefully

{Hee-La} i have to ask though, is there really a benefit in having a 5 inch wide pussy
{K0ffing} the benefit is you can invite friends over and they don't have to wait in line

{Kosta} talk to the hand cause it's holding a microphone and I want your statements to be broadcast to the crowd

{cardcheat} my kids will be well aquainted with the details of my erect penis

{Kosta} Sometimes I throw pennies at the ground in public and yell "JEW BAIT!!!" to see who comes.

{Al} actually this channel is a lot like a bath, in that it's wet and a lot of fat people seem to get stuck in it

{tr0n} You should never tell somebody they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.

{pork} dont copy that floppy
{a43} don't trigger that nigger

He likes porn, he hates the American government!

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 06:41:23 GMT

If I was an American, I'd be voting for this man.
http://www.larryflynt.com/statements/democracy.html

how about an update for fucking once

Sat, 06 Sep 2003 15:23:07 GMT

you know, finding out that someone you once knew is now doing heroin is a strange thing

but first the news

Wed, 20 Aug 2003 08:18:51 GMT

david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham david beckham

Warning: If you read this you must be gay.

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 07:04:38 GMT

so anyway gotta do maths test tomorrow, that should be a barrel of laughs
I need something new to add to this page, it just all seems to samey. I need some kind of PigsCantFly spin on the whole shabang, if you catch my meaning.
So uhhhhhh lets here it for my balls.

we sound more like everyone else, then anyone else

Sat, 16 Aug 2003 01:05:15 GMT

I often wonder about this guy. I stumbled on the website a while ago and thought it was just a fag American who swore a lot and then blamed it on the fifth amendment or something, but reading it again I think he's kind of funny. Oh well make up your own minds. After all its a free country! USA! USA! USA! USA!

In other news, hypermart seem to have gotten their proverbial shit together and stopped me from raping thier bandwidth. So the majority of the pictures I use are GONE FOREVER! DUN DUN DUN! I'm sure I'll get over it some day.

these things are stupid

Fri, 15 Aug 2003 03:09:08 GMT

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

lets put a ball in a biscuit

Thu, 14 Aug 2003 07:45:03 GMT

well today i bought two records, Elephant and Songs for the Deaf. For a total of $70.
One's things for sure, they sound a damn sight better than mp3's.
But I have GOT to keep studying for tests. There's just too fucking much for business studies so I don't think I'll bother for too much longer.

dont talk to me bra i got a stiffy

Wed, 13 Aug 2003 06:55:27 GMT

well i think i did pretty well in the three trial hsc's ive had so far. ive at least past
now im gonna do some other test as well to try and improve my uai or something
happy gays

i wrote this on the tpl forums on July 10, 2002, 05:51:10 AM

Mon, 11 Aug 2003 07:32:13 GMT

Ok so like this one time, me and my friends were all like "hey lets use a ouiji board" and so like my friends are all like "yeh for real" and so like we said "hey are there any dead dudes around" and it was like nothing and then the glass started moving and i was like "YO DID ANY OF YOU DO THAT" and then like one of my friends was like "yeh sorry i couldnt help my self" and im like ok serious now and so like i said "any spirits be up in this peice?" and there was nothing but then it moved! and I was like "DID ANYONE DO THAT?!?" and everyone was like nah freaky and I was like haha it was me sorry sorry serious now and so like i was like like "any hot young XXX spirits begging for my huge ouiji?" and then like the glass starts moving and i was like ok did anyone touch it and they all said nah and i said like nah and so the glass started moving and we were like are you good or bad and it spelt out with the glass "B-A-D I W-I-L-L E-A-T U-R F-A-C-E L-O-L" and so i said omg lik stfu ill kik ur azz and it said "W-T-F U-R G-A-Y H-O-M-O :-P" so i was like ok motherfucka i dont take this shit and I sent him NOT-AN-EXORCIST.EXE and it was like "C-O-O-L T-H-X" but it really was an exorcist! and the spirit died and my girlfriend gave me head THE END

here goes a story

Fri, 08 Aug 2003 10:25:28 GMT

so what happens is, i go round to marcs house coz he said lets go to a leagues club and get tanked and im downy down with that, but i dont have any formal id, only a school swipe card and a forged copy of a birth certificate, so i ring up the leagues club to see if thats enough proof of age. and the chick who answered said no way hozay you need some kinda proper id coz we're cunts. so i was saying fucking shit cunt and various words and then as i walked home from marcs i thought a nice consilation prize would be getting tanked by myself since my parents arent home and theres grog from my 18th in the fridge, so i here i am sloshed telling you guys all about it
imthebossimthebossimthebossimthebossimtheboss

bawl like the baby in eraserhead

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 10:31:26 GMT

im supposed to be doing an assignment but instead im doing this

WHAT A LOSER

^-^ raugh out roud

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 07:09:06 GMT

As many of you may note, I had a party at my house not so long ago. Here are the highlights, with visual accompanyment.

Ben H got very plastered, as per usual.

James kept it super cool.

I don't even know who this guy is or what he was doing at my house.

Suprisingly for all, the party didn't involve Prentice rolling around the garden in his own vomit.

Marc spent most of the time learning to count. Or something.

I prayed for everyone to stop destroying my house.

Adam was goners.

Arthur was goners.

Matt was goners.

Or was he?

Ben was pissed off because the wallabies won. Funny thing is, he goes for the wallabies.

Wenfeng held this exact position for the entire night.

Uhhh...no.

You might think to yourself "That's pretty gay". And you'd be right.

But that certainly is gayer.

What a lovely image to finish on.

Le End.

treat it like soap on a rope coz the beats and the lines are so dope

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 05:34:19 GMT

sometimes i wonder about politeness, and the practical use it it serves, or lack theorof
why cant we just go around fuck each other without having to ask nicely? i mean really

anyway, go to h8r and draw a nice picture for the good of mankind.